first.

i've never truly felt as if i've belonged, anywhere
i seem to always have had one foot plantly firmly in my past,
and the other some how just managed to skirt at the edge of my future,
the "what could be" and the "what's to come".

i keep holding out for the day, the week, the month, the year when i'll feel home
content, at peace
one with myself, and whole

being the sort of person that i am, i've always held my breath
held out for what i know is inevitably impossible
and so the let down hits tenfold, and i'm left with this inescapable square one mentality

i'm left hurting
confused
and alone

i'm eager to decompress amongst friends and music,
and the sunshine

My darling was naked, and knowing my heart well,
She was wearing only her sonorous jewels,
Whose opulent display made her look triumphant
Like Moorish concubines on their fortunate days.
When it dances and flings its lively, mocking sound,
This radiant world of metal and of gems
Transports me with delight; I passionately love
All things in which sound is mingled with light.